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Blogging about the BATs

What does Blog stand for anyways…? I’ve been Blogging on Ghosts for a while and I used to know, before beer and sex smoothed out that portion of my brain. Just like my knowledge of Long Division.

Blog…hmmm…Basic Logging. Binary Ogling. Oooh…B.L.O.G…Bionic Lazerdriven Operational…err…umm…Guys.

Kinda like the B.A.T. troopers from the old GI Joe series. Cobra’s metal cronies.


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Battle Armored Troopers.  Always wondered why they called them BAT troopers since troopers is in their actual name.

Battle Armored Trooper…umm…Troopers. Makes you sound like your stuttering or damn near mentally retarded.

Besides why did Cobra pick the name Bat anyways, don’t Bats hate snakes? Or is it snakes that hate bats? There’s some sort of animosity between them in the wild…like the bloods and crypts…or something…

 


 

Told you. I knew it. Bats are flying Rats.

 

Snakes hate rats because they have feet and snakes don’t. Rats with wings are just asking for a beat down.

 

Oh, those crazy BATs. When I was little, they sprung the BATs on me one Tuesday after school, and I was like “wait where are the Cobra troopers?!? These Robot things just get blown up…those normal Cobra troops are much more efficient. I hardly ever see them getting shot or exploded. ”

 

And when you are a child you are very confused as to the reasoning for the new minions of darkness, but say what the heck because it’s a new figure to collect.But then you grow up, and you realize that GI Joe is a kids show…a kids show revolving around people shooting guns…and being that it’s for kids…snap! You can’t have people getting shot!

So the ever so smart creators made robots that can shot and blown up without all of those silly morality issues to plague kids.Now, it’s like punching a toaster, no harm, no foul. And you think:


“I wish I was that clever, I can’t even remember what zip code I live in at times”


And boy o boy, did the animators take advantage of that.I remember in the ending credits of every GI Joe after the BAT was introduced (season two I believe), there was this clip of that red headed bombshell, Scarlet, mowing down a line of BATs with a Gatling gun.

 

A Gatling gun that shot blue lasers.

 

And they were blowing up everywhere.

 

See that’s when you really know you can go all out with the cartoon violence. Grab a hot chick, give her a repeating machine gun, and let her unload in the chest of some mechanical grunts.



However, hopefully you weren’t one of those kids that thought, “Hey the Transformers are robots and they have feelings, what if the GI Joe guys shot them? I’d be sad.”If so then as a grown up you are back at the whole…gosh…GI Joe is just exterminating robotic life forms left and right and smiling.

 

Heartless jerks.

 

And years later you would be like…damn…no wonder in the Matrix, Robots hate us.

 

Was there a point to this blog? Not really…I really just wanted to show the pictures of the BAT I found.And obligatory pictures of Snake Eyes looking bad ass as usual.

You blow up those robots, Snake. Blow them up good.

 

Snakes hate Bats.

 

They asked for it.

 

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