IN A WORLD WHERE DIABETES PROBABLY MAYBE HOPEFULLY DOESN’T EXIST, ONE MAN STARTS A JOURNEY FROM WHICH HIS BLOOD SUGAR WILL NEVER RECOVER. HIS MISSION: TRY THE POP-TARTS… TRY THEM ALL! THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST.
As I approached, it was then that I noticed: Wow, there are a LOT of Pop-Tarts! Far more than I ever previously acknowledged. I mostly just ate, like, S’mores. That was as adventurous as I assumed Pop-Tarts got, but I was so, so wrong. And some of them look so good! If only I could try them all….
Well, obviously I can. And I am. That’s the promise I have made to you, the reader. And it’s only fitting that I’m starting with the one that enticed me to begin with…
So how were these after all that build? Almost underwhelming, honestly. The insides are not nearly the dripping, chocolate goo that the box promises, but rather the choppy, congealed sludge that makes up the interior of almost every every Pop Tart. Not that it is a BAD thing–I love Pop Tart sludge; it’s absolutely in my top three sludges–but it was somewhat of a letdown. It’s really not any better than regular Chocolate Fudge or S’mores flavors that have been classics for ages; S’mores is actually decidedly better, to be fair. It was a GOOD Pop-Tart, yes, but it was missing the warm embrace of the womb that I had set it up for in my mind.
What’s worse, I’m relatively certain that this flavor of Pop-Tarts had some kind of adverse effect on my brain, because at about 3am last night, I started yelling in my sleep about Russell Wilson (this is not a joke… I don’t recall it, but Amanda insists I started yelling something about Russell Wilson Pick-Six). To be fair, I can’t, with 100% certitude, know that Chocolate Chip Pop-Tarts caused this mid-night outburst of fear that my favorite NFL team’s quarterback threw a backbreaking interception… but I can’t DISPROVE it, either. I worry about my mental state should I continue the path of this Quest…
Haha! Nice report! And i am sad to say : No pop Tarts in Germany! We really get a lot of Stuff here from your side of the ocean – but pop tarts haven´t arrived here yet. At least not in the “normal” supermarkets. Often, i see somebody snacking them i a TV-Show or the movies but never had a taste of the stuff myself. Same with Twinkeys! There are some Stores specialised for US Snacks. Probably i should take a look there… It sounds like you really can recommend it (i would go there secretly of course, without telling the wife)…
A world without Pop Tarts sounds frightening and sad!
I just saw, you can order them @ amazon. Should i dare…? Maybe i wait until you are through with your test series, to see which sort makes it to the top…