“Stew, you have an article due this Friday”.
“What? No. That doesn’t… sound accurate. I just wrote one last… time”.
“Well you do”.
Hi everyone! Welcome to my thrilling article that is due! It turns out I have nothing to say! Honestly, though? I blame the Pop-Tarts. They just haven’t been keeping up with me lately. If they would keep producing flavors, we wouldn’t have this lull, and yet… here we are. Tartless. #BringBackThePTQ
There actually IS a new flavor, but I haven’t bought it yet. So maybe this one is on me.
Those look… whatever. I like Granny Smith Apples so very much, but I don’t tend to like smashed up apples in any of their forms. Not in pie. Not as applesauce. And… that’s pretty much it, right? What else do you do with smashed up apples? Pie them or sauce them. Regardless, warm smashy apples are my foe. So I just haven’t been excited to purchase these. I’ll get there, but it’s all in mustering up the will for my first new flavor in weeks to probably be lower tier. I want a better class of breakfast.
How have they not done APPLE as a flavor yet, though? Seems like it would have been obvious to get there long before now. How did watermelon get a flavor before apple?
(Stew Googles just “Apple Pop-Tarts”, and it turns out these aren’t the FIRST apple flavored Pop-Tarts ever. They’re just the newest)
Oh, well that makes sense. Thanks, narrative parenthetical!
(You’re welcome. You’re also VERY disappointed you missed out on Green Apple Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts)
I really am! Those could have gone in so many directions!
So I think this is going to be one of those–whattayacall’em–Creek of Consciousness articles. I’ve done this once before, and it turned out fine. Sometimes you just gotta meander around in the writing template and let the article come to you.
If you read my drivel from the last two weeks, you might remember–and YES! I AM trying to fill this article up with links to previous, better articles; thank you for noticing!–that I fancy myself something of a writer who doesn’t write but still FANTASIZES about writing a great deal. I have been trying to focus on getting around to writing more often since those two articles have inspired me, and in my nightly drifting off time, I have basically re-written the entire third major story arc of my characters’ lives. It just happened by accident as I thought I was creating an interlude between acts but the interlude has grown in the past week and became its own act! It’s changing this time in their lives from an extremely dark and depressing arc to one that is much more positive, and I tell you… I am super excited to never getting around to writing it! It’s going to hypothetically be the best.
In “This Is Why I Have Trust Issues” news: DC recently brought Kyle Rayner in as a member of Titans! He was handled competently, and was now in a book starring other characters I enjoy, such as Donna Troy and Raven and Miss Martian! Everything is going swimmingly! Oh, and the book is getting cancelled after the next issue–#36–comes out!
Screw you, DC Comics.
I mean, Heroes in Crisis is going well. And the third issue of the Young Justice relaunch set some of my fears about the series that they were retconning Geoff Johns’ Teen Titans run out of history to [possible] rest, but…
Come on! Kyle was doing well again, which he hadn’t been in a long time. Couldn’t just let me have that, huh? Had to swoop in and take it away! Just like you always do!
How is Marvel doing these days? Oh! Jubilee is in a book!
So there’s that.
The problem with Marvel is that they keep publishing seemingly promising books that I buy up to two issues of before deciding “I can no longer find the promise here”. Chip Zdrasky’s Daredevil and Donny Cates’ Guardians of the Galaxy are two recent books that did not make it past the second issue mark by me. And Donny Cates seems like a good guy who has a great rep as a writer, but his GotG just did nothing for me early on. Maybe it’s because I have never cared about Thanos, and a new “WHAT IS THANOS UP TO? DUN DUN DUUUUUN” book is never what I’m looking for in life. There have been a bunch of other Marvel books from the last 6 months or so of which I bought the first couple of issues before deciding “These are fine and bland and fine, and I don’t need to keep reading them!” Unstoppable Wasp, X-23, Tony Stark: Iron Man. Bailed on them all. West Coast Avengers actually had a spark, but I haven’t picked up a new issue since the fourth or fifth because I forgot about it. Maybe there’ll be a Free Comic Book Day sale on recent books, and I can catch up. The one Marvel book I HAVE kept buying is surprisingly Mr. & Mrs X, which is a lot better than it has any right to be.
Oh yeah! Wrestlemania is coming! It’s the 35th Wrestlemania, even though they quit numbering them, and I think it’s trying to celebrate by having 35 matches. Overall, it looks pretty good. I mean, the majority of the card is pretty rad, but…
Why didn’t I just make this whole article I had due a Wrestlemania preview?!
That would have made so much more sense! The Creek of Consciousness took way too long to flow to this point!
Do I have any other due articles between now and Wrestlemania?
Well that is both good AND bad now!
Do I delete all of this and write a Wrestlemania preview now?
That IS a compelling argument.
So let’s see… smashy apples. Writing. Actual current comic book talk. And then a too-late realization of what I SHOULD have done with my life. Well if this isn’t a standout article, I don’t know what is! I would say I’m proud of this one, but we all know that’s not true. Honestly, I’m just hoping Andy doesn’t read it. But I totally wrote the hell out of it.
(Stew promises to do better next time)