The Old Guard: LADY HIGHLANDER
Charlize Theron is really becoming one of the go-to action stars of Hollywood. She’s a good actress, has some moves, and she has those “I will murder you” eyes.
She is America’s favorite Sexy Kung Fu Fighting Giraffe. You can rely on her to do her thing. And “The Old Guard” is no exception.
The story follows a group of immortals who go around fighting bad guys and trying to change the world by being in the right place at the right time. The story kicks into high gear when they are on a mission and are suddenly betrayed and shot up with what appears to be All The Bullets In The World. It’s pretty gruesome.
They of course punch and slash their way out of it. But they find out that they were filmed, and now people are trying to capture them. And it shows that you do not want to be captured if you’re an immortal. I always found the “Oh no immortality is a curse” thing to be B.S., but here they successfully make it seem rough. What happens to one Immortal is downright horrifying.
Things are further complicated with the discovery of a new immortal (played by Kiki Lane). The existing immortals seem to be able to sense when a new one is created; they dream of each other. Charlize goes to train this new recruit, and what follows is some pretty good action. You can see Netflix spent some cash on this one. The use of old world weapons and modern ones is pretty cool. Some guy running around with a Viking battle Ax and a gun at the same time… that’s just pretty awesome.
If only they fought better villains. It’s a lot of the cannon fodder throughout, and the main villain is rather lame. Some of the twists aren’t particularly exciting except for some of the sequel bait. Even though you may see that one coming. If they had a really tough or notable henchman, it could have done wonders. The other immortals were just not very interesting. Although the gay couple had an interesting hook where they used to kill each other before they got together. But that’s not really explored that much.
It’s really the Charlize and Kiki characters that hold the show. Their teacher and smart-ass student relationship is a bit cliche, but they have good chemistry together. They both also have solid action scenes.
There is a lot of mystery to the characters. There are a few flashbacks that have hints of Charlize past… but they don’t really explain it to much. So, if you want answers to the big questions like “how are they made” “Do they eat” “If so, do the poop”, those aren’t here. But it is good world building. Granted how they actually effect the world in the changes made seem more like dumb luck than anything. Some of it, there is no way they could have predicted the results that happen. But the acting is pretty solid, and there seem to be a lot of practical effects.
Overall, it’s a fun movie. Is it the new Jon Wick… no. Is it something you would get you to buy Netflix alone? No. But If I did happen to see it in theater I be satisfied. It’s a fun romp. Grab some popcorn and snacks, and you have a good time.