Pop-Tart Quest Week 27

Not BAMF 2

THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! UH, THAT IS ALL THIS WEEK. Fruit pies are the worst kind of pies. There are probably people out there that prefer fruit-based pies to, say, cream-centric pies, but I pity them as human beings, I feel sorry for their descendants, and they can not eat […]

Pop-Tart Quest Week 26

Not BAMF

IN A WORLD WHERE KELLOGG’S PUTS OUT FAR FEWER NEW POP-TARTS FLAVORS THAN THEY USED TO, SOMETIMES THERE ARE HUGE GAPS IN THESE ARTICLES! THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! WHO DARES AWAKEN ME FROM MY POP-TART SLUMBER?! Oh, hey there! It’s been… several weeks since our last journey together down Sludge […]

Pop-Tart Quest Week 25

Not BAMF

SUPER TIMELY REVIEWS ARE A SPECIALTY HERE, AS WE LOOK AT TREATS RELEASED FOR A HOLIDAY FROM FIVE MONTHS AGO! THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! Pumpkin flavored anything! You know what that means! Wait, can we talk about how terrific The Good Place is? It’s in my personal top five sitcoms of […]

Pop-Tart Quest Week 24

Not BAMF

GOD BLESS DISCOUNT STORES SELLING OLD STUFF! THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! Woo! Almost missed this one! For whatever reason, I haven’t seen a “new” Pop-Tart flavor in quite some time, and I was beginning to think the PTQ might have had to have taken a hiatus after last week’s venture. […]

Pop-Tart Quest Week 23

Not BAMF

POP-TART QUEST ISN’T RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS! POP-TARTS IS RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS! YOU’RE RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS! THIS WHOLE DAMN COURT IS RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS! THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! Huh? Wait. Didn’t we…? Haven’t we been here before? We’ve definitely done this before, Pop-Tarts! You can’t just throw […]

Pop-Tart Quest Week 22

Not BAMF 2

SINCE THE DAWN OF POP-TART QUEST, ONE TART HAS STRUCK DIRE FEAR INTO OUR BREAKFAST WARRIOR’S HEART. TODAY, HE FACES THAT FEAR. THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! Okay, yeah. So yeah. Yep. I mean… ultimately, how bad could a Pop-Tart be? They are sugar and sludge and shell. It’s not landing […]

Pop-Tart Quest Week 21

Not BAMF 2

YOU MIGHT THINK POP-TART QUEST IS OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK NIOW, BUT YOU’D BE WRONG. WEEKS AREN’T THE SAME THING AS YEARS. YOU REALLY SHOULD KNOW BETTER. THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! Pop-Tarts are one of the most unpleasant foods in the world to eat when you have mouth ulcers! It’s […]

Pop-Tart Quest Week 20

Not BAMF

POP-TARTS ARE FOREVER. POP-TARTS ARE A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND. BLOOD POP-TARTS. TWO KARAT POP-TARTS. WAIT, NONE OF THESE SOUND RIGHT. THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! I know I have given Pop-Tarts some crap in the past over flavors like Pink Lemonade, Orange Crush, and A&W Root Beer because drinks aren’t food. […]

Pop-Tart Quest Week 19

Not BAMF

NO PICTURESQUE FOOD THIS WEEK; WE’RE BACK TO POP-TARTS THAT DO NOT DOUBLE AS FINE ART. THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! More smooshing! Pop-Tarts loves to release things thematically nowadays; they do very few solo releases that I can remember in recent months. The Orange Crush and Root Beer flavors came […]

Pop-Tart Quest: Week 18

Not BAMF 1

NOW THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE WHEN WORLDS COLLIIIIIIIIIDE!! ARE YOU READY TO TART? CAUSE I’M READY TO TART… WAIT, SORRY. BUT YES, OUR COMIC BOOK PODCAST WEBSITE THAT REGULARLY REVIEWS POP-TARTS IS ABOUT TO CROSS THE STREAMS, BABY! THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! I mentioned these last week, and I […]

Pop-Tart Quest: Week 17

Not BAMF

I REALLY FEEL LIKE KELLOGGS AND POP-TARTS ARE JUST IGNORING ME AT THIS POINT. I’M NEVER GOING TO GET MY DISCONTINUED FLAVORS! THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! As conceivably the laziest person alive–someone who will stop at nothing to do as little work as possible and circumvent any methods by which […]

Pop-Tart Quest Week 16

Not BAMF

POP-TART QUEST BEING OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE, IT IS FINDING A REBELLIOUS STREAK! IT DOESN’T ALWAYS WANT TO EAT SLUDGE-FILLED PASTRIES! MAYBE IT WANTS A NICE SCRAMBLED EGG! YOU’RE NOT EVEN ITS REAL DAD! STILL, THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! So, A&W Root Beer flavored Pop-Tarts were pretty bad. I would […]